"For what is behind an act of will? Another act of will? Do I will to will, or does the will just happen? If the former, do I then will to will to will? Do decisions spontaneously occur, or do I decide to decide to decide? In fact, somewhere down the line even voluntary purposeful activity runs into the spontaneity... that underlies and unites both volutary and involuntary."
No Boundary, Ken Wilber
I don't necessarily agree with all of Wilber's conclusions throughout his work, at least insofar as I even understand them, but I love this question, and sense that it cuts very close to the heart of human experience...